Rebirth
by ForbalaTheGreen
Summary: that's right! the adventures of the twilight cast in hell! what happens when bella dies, goes to party-hell, meets the cullens, falls in life-after-death love, and gets mike arrested? read to find out! AU. mike is a necrophile!
1. Welcome to Hell!

**And now I'm back…from outer space…!**

**Haha! So, how've y'all been? (It's a Southern thing; y'all wouldn't get it, haha (that's on a t-shirt my friend has, haha, 'cept it says my state, but I'm not gonna tell you on the off-chance that you're rapists/murderers…I'm only a little paranoid!))**

**Anyway, my next story has begun!**

**Welcome to Hell with the Cullens! I fully expect this to be hilarious! Also, this is my version of Hell: the version of Hell that Micah Armstrong preaches about, mixed with polytheistic and normal monotheistic Hell—minus the eternal flames. The reasons why everyone but him is going to Hell (except him) are shown below somewhere.**

**So, have fun reading this! And reviews make us happy —hint hint—!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER ONE: WELCOME TO…HELL?!

**BPOV with a little omniscient POV**

"Hello, welcome to Purgatory," droned the voice of a demon sitting at a desk in front of a large iron wrought gate.

I blinked, very confused. "Did you say…_Purgatory_?"

"Yeah, yer dead. Name?"

"How? How did I die?" I had skipped all the phases—denial, anger, bribery—and had gone straight to acceptance.

The demon sighed, annoyed. Why did he have to do this every time? "Give me your name and I can tell you how you died," he said in a tight voice.

"…Bella—Isabella—Swan…."

The demon typed her name in the computer database and read from the screen: "'Isabella "Bella" Marie Swan: died while on her way to Forks, Washington to visit her father Charles "Charlie" Swan. In a hotel in Olympia, Washington, she tripped down two flights of stairs, out a window, and down two stories, _splat!_ into the pavement'. Satisfied?"

"Wow. That…that really sucks. I'm such a klutz!"

"Okay, fill out these forms and you'll be judged for Heaven or Hell and whichever level as soon as the next judge is available." He handed me a clipboard full of forms and waved me off to a seating area filled with other newly-dead. I sat in a chair and filled out the papers.

It had strange questions, for Purgatory. It asked about allergies and medicines and such, things only the living would need to answer. It also asked about how I had conducted my life, asking me to check "all that applied":

_Pot Smoking_

_Cigarette Smoking_

_Alcohol Drinking (check)_

_Guitar Playing (check)_

_Having a Tattoo_

_Showing Cleavage (check)_

_Showing Bellybuttons (check)_

_Girls Showing Their Knees (check)_

_Girls Showing Their Elbows (check)_

_Girls Wearing Tight Pants (check)_

_Girls Wearing Miniskirts_

_Being Blonde_

_Being Fat_

_Cursing (check)_

_Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage (check)_

_Holding Hands before Marriage (check)_

_Groping Breast before Marriage_

_Having Premarital Sex_

_Masturbation_

_Having Anal Sex_

_Having Oral Sex_

_Being Homosexual_

_Judging People (check—who hasn't judged someone at some point?)_

_Being Selfish (check)_

_Playing Sports (check—though not of her own volition)_

_Women Working (check)_

_Watching BET_

_Watching MTV_

_Watching VH1_

_Watching TNT (check)_

_Associating With Hollywood_

_Listening to Rap, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll (check for Rock)_

_Believing in Evolution (check)_

_Being Catholic_

_Being Jewish_

_Being Buddhist_

_Being Methodist_

_Being Protestant_

_Being Mormon_

_Being Muslim_

_Being Hindu_

_Being Agnostic (check-ish)_

_Being Atheist (check-ish)_

_Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin) (gigantic check)_

_Being In a Sorority or Fraternity (check)_

_Owning a Pet (NOT check—she couldn't even keep herself alive, let alone another animal)_

_Having Sinned (probably check)_

I was surprised to find that I had expected such a death to come to me, although I wished it had waited a little longer; I was only twenty-two, after all.

I completed the survey after a very long time and was eventually called in for judgment.

A female demon, this time, briefed me in a soft, motherly voice. "Here is where you will be judged—you will either be sent to Heaven as an angel, Hell as a demon, or Earth as a ghost. You may appeal for Resurrection if you think you died before your time, but don't expect it to work—only a handful of people have been resurrected. Jesus was one of the few persistent enough to be granted that privilege, though he only wanted it for one day.

"Most people end up being demons because Heaven's standards are so high. You will be asked several questions, which determine your eternal resting place. Any questions?" I shook me head, still trying to process everything the woman had said.

I was ushered to a courtroom and saw an angel as the judge. I was asked several questions, many similar to those on my forms, over the course of a couple hours.

At last, the angel made up his mind on my placement.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I deem that you shall reside in…Hell for all eternity!"

"What a surprise!" muttered the woman, innocently, who had briefed me.

"If you wish to appeal for Resurrection, speak to one of the secretaries." He waved me out and I walked away with the woman from before.

"So…what's Hell like?"

"Oh, it's actually quite nice! Do whatever you want, whenever you want! And it's a party! All the greats are here—Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Elvis, Martin Luther King, Jimi Hendrix, Freddy Mercury! Basically everyone but Jesus, Micah Armstrong, the Disciples, and about three others!"

I nodded—this could actually be fun….

**BTW, I love Freddy Mercury. He's amazing. I love Queen. If you haven't seen "We Will Rock You" (the rock-opera musical based on the music of Queen) or heard "No One But You (Only The Good Die Young)" by Queen after Freddy's death, you must watch/listen! They're amazing! Freddy's song makes me cry every time (if I had functioning tear glands…).**


	2. Meet the Gang

**Ne, ne (Japanese for "hey, hey")! Do you likey? Ne, so my brother is doing a Titanic-Twilight fic and won't let me do one (which I thought of in the first place…I think…IDK…). He even copyrighted it. If you're reading, darling brother, I have three things to say: **

**You're a dope**

"**Every time Kaiba smiles, a puppy dies" © Little Kuriboh, yugiohabridged dot com**

**And…I just had a "Reading Rainbow" flashback. Does anyone else remember that show? God, I loved it….**

**BTW, this is obviously AU (Alternate Universe)….**

**So, on with chapter two! -reviewreviewreview-**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER TWO: MEET THE GANG

"So," said Esme, the woman who'd briefed me on the judgment, "ready for the tour?"

"A tour of Hell?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes. You need to know where everything is!" She smiled at me and led me away into the town of Hell.

We walked the streets while Esme explained Hell a little more to me. "There are seven Levels of Hell. The first three are for everyday sinners—selfishness, being judgmental, showing skin. Within the three Levels are the various levels of minor sinners: First Level for stupid things, Third Level for addicts.

"The Fourth Level is for petty robbers and such. Fifth Level is for large crimes, like robbing banks; Sixth Level for murderers and spouse abusers; and Seventh Level for sex offenders and child offenders.

"You're on the very First Level, with me. I'll show you where you'll be living, and then I'll introduce you to my friends."

I was led to an apartment building close to Level One Downtown. "Here's your apartment," Esme said. "Right next to mine. In Hell, everyone lives in virtually the same space—relative to your Level, of course."

I opened the door and saw a three-room apartment: bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen-den. It was already furnished, but very dully so.

"The room changes and forms from this blank slate into something packed with personality as you live here. It'll be finished in a week or so," Esme explained. I nodded and said:

"Cool. So when do I get to meet your friends? If they're all as great as you, I'm sure Hell will be great."

She led me back onto the streets. "You're taking your death surprisingly well," she commented casually. "Most people have total freak-outs."

"Yeah, well…I've never been one to freak out very much. And, what could I do anyway? It's not like I have any particular reason to come back. I only have my parents, really, and they can take care of themselves. I'm sorry for doing this to them, but there's no reason I should be sent back. So I may as well take it, as is."

Esme smiled warmly and led me into a bar/rec room. Inside, were a lot of people crowded around various activities: pool tables, air hockey, foosball, TVs, video games, card tables, darts, the bar.

Esme led me over to a particularly rowdy group of video gamers. There were three guys and two girls. The girl were watching the guys at the moment, and both were beautiful. One was tall and thin and had to be—have been; we're dead; past tense—a model. The other was small and pixie-like with spiky black hair.

The guys were all tall, at least six feet. One was enormous and wild, screaming and yelling with the video game. The other two were varying shades of blonde. One was passive but engaged, with pale blond hair. The other was animated with reddish-bronze hair.

And all five were beautiful.

Esme introduced me to the individuals and the couples. The model was Rosalie, the pixie was Alice, the linebacker was Emmett, the pale blond was Jasper and the other was Edward—god, he was gorgeous! The couples were Rose-Emmett and Alice-Jasper—thank god Edward was single!

As if Edward was beautiful enough from afar, he was like a Greek god up close. His eyes were piercing green, his jaw hard and square. I finally pulled my eyes from his face and looked at his chiseled chest. His entire body was well muscled, but slim. In fact, all three guys were well muscled, but not in a body-builder type way; more like they were just fit and active.

The girls hugged me and Jasper kissed my hand in a very Victorian-era way and greeted me politely. Emmett yanked me high up in the air in a suffocating bear hug.

"Air…need…air…" I gasped.

He set me down non-too-gently and filled the room with his booming laughter. "You don't need air anymore! You're _dead_!"

I blushed and shuffled my feet. "Oh."

He laughed again and shoved Edward forward. "Go on and greet the little lady, Eddie!"

"Call me 'Eddie' again, Emmett, and I'll rip you slowly limb from limb," Edward threatened as he stumbled towards me. He took my hand, kissing it like Jasper had done. But Jasper had been being polite. Edward's kiss felt far different. It was slower and more…gentile. It had more feeling behind it. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was almost as if he loved me. But, obviously, he was far too beautiful to love plain ole me. Even so, my cheeks pinked at his touch.

"Hello, Bella. I'm pleased to meet you." His voice was silky smooth as he looked up into my eyes from my hand. That gaze sent shivers up my spine.

"U-um…hi. You t-too," I stuttered, flabbergasted by his intensity. I tossed my hair to help hide my face, as I always did when embarrassed or uncomfortable.

Edward straightened and Emmett's booming voice filled the air again. "Hey, Bella, how'd'ya die?"

I shuffled again, embarrassed at my method of death. "I…fell down two flights of stairs, out a window, and down two stories to the pavement," I said in a rush.

It was silent a moment, and then laughter filled the air. I heard the booming laughter that belonged to Emmett, the slightly snide laughter of Rosalie, the others' laughter undertoning the boom. I looked up. Emmett was laughing with me, but teasingly, and Rose at me. Jasper and Edward were laughing with me, but with only half the gusto of Emmett. Esme and Alice had musical giggles rather than laughter.

Next I knew, I was gasping and several feet off the ground. "Erk…Emmett… pu'me down…."

"Ah, Bella! You're gonna be so entertaining! I love you!" He dropped me as Rose hit him with such force that he whimpered—or maybe he was just being stupid. It was probably the latter.

Hell certainly would be entertaining.


	3. A Movie

**Hello lovely readers! May I say that I love your amazing reviews? You guys make me feel so special -giggle-!**

**Hm…I think there was something important I wanted to say…. Oh well, I'll remember it eventually. Or not. In which case, I guess it's not all that important.**

**God, I really need to do my homework, but I'm willing to stay up all night writing a lovely chapter for you lovely people and then doing my impossible-to-comprehend math homework! My priorities are flawless!**

**Anyway, do y'all watch the abridged serieses of Naruto, YuGiOh, Sailor Moon (gotta type SMA or you'll some crapshoot) or YuYu Hakusho? They rock. Go to YouTube (or yugiohabridged dot com or sailormoonabridged dot com) and watch them NOW (no, read the chapter first!!!!)!!! Anyway, they're cool. I love Little Kuribo. You soon will, too.**

**So…on with the chapter!**

**I wish I knew what to write….**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER THREE: A MOVIE

"So, Emmett," I said, "how did you die?"

"I was mauled by a bear," he said cheerily. I gawked at his nonchalance. Then he spoke again. "Jasper got shot down in the Civil War, Alice got electro-shock therapy one too many times, Edward got the Spanish influenza, and Rose got raped and mauled by her fiancée. Oh, and Esme jumped off a cliff."

"After my baby was stillborn," she clarified. I blinked. How were they all so casual about this? I guess it came with being dead.

Then his words sunk in. Alice…electro-shock therapy…she was in a mental home? Why? Rose…raped and mauled…fiancée…how awful! What kind of guy would do that? Esme…jumped off a cliff…stillborn baby…this was by far the worst and saddest thing I'd heard. I understood the love a mother felt for her child—even if I didn't know from experience—knew how powerful it was. Poor Esme.

"Oh my god. You poor girls!" I pulled them all into a hug, trying to understand a tiny bit of the pain they'd felt in life.

"Oh, sweetie," said Esme. "Thank you for the concern, but that was all a long time ago."

I nodded and retracted. Then Emmett, apparently bored with introductions and sob stories, spoke again.

"Let's go see a movie!"

I blinked. Movies played in Hell?

"Oh yeah, what's on?" asked Jasper.

Alice's eyes glazed over for a second, then she said, "We'll see 'The Bucket List'. Grab a tissue box!" She grabbed Jasper's hand and skipped out, dragging him behind. Emmett bounded off after them, yelling at the rest of us to hurry up. Rose, Esme, Edward, and I trailed at a fast walk.

"So…you get movies in Hell?"

"Yes," said Esme. "Hell is basically identical to Earth."

I nodded as we approached the cinema and Emmett bought our tickets, laughing and joking all the while.

As we walked in and got snacks, Esme explained yet another concept to me. "Tomorrow, once you're mostly settled in, you'll be able to visit Earth for one week. No one can see or hear you—except those with great sixth senses—but it'll give you a chance to say goodbye to your family, if you choose. You can even enter their dreams for one last conversation. It's a great thing, really. I apologized to my husband for everything."

I grasped her hand, trying to comfort her—this was obviously a sore subject, albeit an old one. She looked at me, her eyes slightly teary, but she was smiling.

"And then I met Carlisle. If I thought Zachary was my love, I didn't know what 'love' meant! Carlisle is my perfect match, my other half. Sometimes, the day you die can be the best day of your life." She was smiling warmly now, thinking of her soul mate, the tears far away now.

We reached the screen room and sat in the very back row—Esme, me, Edward, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper.

"You haven't seen this movie, right?" Edward asked me while the previews played.

"No, but I heard it's really good, and Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson are great—they should be amazing together."

"Did you see 'The Shining'?"

"No, I don't really like scary movies."

"Would you like them if you had someone to cling to?" His voice was soft and even smoother than before, and his face was suddenly very close to mine. I was surprised and my face went red.

"Uh, um…I…that is…." I stumbled over my words, embarrassed again by his overwhelming intensity.

Then Emmett's voice sounded, drowning out everything else. "Come on, Edward, sneak her away to a broom closet! You know you both want it!"

With that, my face went as red as humanly possible and more so. Edward spun around to clock Emmett on the head with a loud _SMACK!_

I spun around to face Esme, embarrassed beyond belief, not only by Emmett's words, but also by the fact that they were totally and utterly true.

I felt Esme's hand on mine as she said, "Ah, the death day is the best day, isn't it? I fell in love with Carlisle the moment I saw him. Alice had a vision—that's why she was in the mental home—of Jasper and loved him before either of them met here in Hell. And Emmett and Rosalie…well, they fell in lust, _then_ love." She giggled at my recurring blush, as it had begun to subside but flared up again at the description of the giant and the model.

I turned back to the movie screen, awaiting the "feature presentation", as it used to be called. I wondered vaguely if they still did that; I had never noticed, because it was always there and I'd gotten to the point where I simply ignored it.

"I'm sorry," said Edward, "about that perverted dumbass. He just enjoys making people uncomfortable."

I smiled at this gorgeous man before me. He seemed very sweet and protective and…perfect, really. Was Esme right? Was I in love with this man, this perfect man?

The movie flickered to life and the theater went quiet.


	4. The Bucket List

**So I'm reading ****Vampirates**** right now and it's really good. Go buy it.**

**Here's the next chapter!**

**God, I wanna be a vampirate. That'd so cool. Except, I'd sparkle in the sunlight instead of burn. Cause I'm cool.**

**Sorry for an OOCness, BTW.**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER FOUR: THE BUCKET LIST

By the time the movie was over, Esme, Jasper and I were in tears. We definitely used those tissues Alice insisted we bring.

We left the screen room as the credits rolled. "My god, that was good," I sobbed.

Emmett, of course, was laughing. "Hahaha! When Thomas said 'actually[my name's Matthew, but that was too biblical' I nearly fell outta my seat!" Rose rolled her eyes and slipped her arm around his waist.

"Please forgive his insanity, Bella. He's just an idiot, really. He's a four-year-old in a twenty-year-old's body, albeit a very sexy one."

"The lust radiating from you two right now is suffocating," snarled Jasper. I had never expected him to sound like that—even though his statement was true: Emmett and Rose looked like they would have sex right here on the street.

Rose and Emmett apologized and toned it down and Jasper stopped looking at poor little Alice like a piece of meat.

Suddenly, I was very hungry. "Hey, do Hellions eat?" I asked.

"Yes," Edward answered. "What would you like?"

"Hm…Italian, I think." Edward nodded, a smile on his face, and yelled at everyone that it was suppertime. I felt his hand hovering on my elbow, steering me to the restaurant, Giovanni's. I blushed and looked down at said hand.

"The way you died, I'm afraid you'd fall and die again," he grinned jokingly. I _harrumph_ed and jerked my arm away, marching forward to join Esme again. Behind me, I heard Emmett teasing:

"Ooh! Burn, Edward!" Then another loud _smacki!_ told me Emmett had been hit again.

At Giovanni's, I sat between Emmett and Alice, and across from Jasper. And far from Edward. I wasn't really mad any more, but I could see he was worried he'd offended me and it was so much fun to watch. Boys are so entertaining.

"Bella," Edward called across the table casually. I glanced over, almost forgetting to look angry.

"Yes, Eddie?" I said tightly, using the name that had gotten Emmett a death threat earlier.

His eyes flashed with annoyance for a millisecond, then he said, "How do you like the food?"

"Fine," I said clippingly.

"Emmett's not raping you, is he? And Alice isn't going to steal you away to the mall?" His tone was amiable and polite.

"They're great." My voice was flat and emotionless, and I roughly shoved more ravioli in my mouth.

"Careful, Edward," said Rose, smiling, "or she might stab _you_ with that fork next!" Everyone at the table laughed as Edward looked down, shoving his food around on his plate. I suddenly felt bad for my act, but just ate another bite.

After dinner, we all went back to our apartments: Rose with Emmett to his Third-Level apartment (apparently, he was a pretty experimental guy in life, though how much he could experiment with in the thirties, I do not know), Alice and Jasper to their apartment just two doors down from mine, Edward between Alice and I. Esme kissed me goodnight and went to the apartment where she and Carlisle lived, right next door to me.

I took a shower and went to my dresser to dress for bed, about to open the drawer, when I realized that, one, I had no clothes and two, where had my towels come from?

I opened the drawer, hoping that I would have clothes from the same provider as my furnishings and towel.

And voilà! I had clothes! Not only that, but they were all my clothes from life! This, needless to say, made me very happy.

I quickly donned some sweats as pajamas and went to the bed. Then I saw a bookshelf, filled with all my favourite books and more. I plucked out _Wuthering Heights_ and opened to a random page, reading only a few words and knowing exactly to where the story had progressed.

I ended up reading various passages from various books until about three. I fell right to sleep once I turned out the light and I had (mostly) pleasant dreams—about my death, my new friends…Edward. I was also eager to meet Esme's mate Carlisle in the morning.

**Sorry it's so short! Writer's block, I suppose. Plus, I just now finished **_**Vampirates **_**and I now must right a little oneshot and hope that (once my internet fixes—that's the one thing I hate about storms—it blows the internet) there are fics of this great book on the sacred site to which we all belong.**

**Anyway…I drew a picture earlier of when Edward walks into the ballet studio and finds Bella mostly dead ("there's a difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is still slightly alive. Princess Bride, Miracle Max). There's this site I wanna post it on. I'll put in the link if I do.**

**Peace, Love and Crabs!**

**Review!**

**-Forbala-**


	5. Breakfast

**Hello again. How are you? Sorry again for the shortness of the last chapter. BTW, go see "The Bucket List". It's amazing. And "Mad Money". That was hilarious.**

**Why am I suddenly so stoic? Very strange….**

**Enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER FIVE: BREAKFAST

I awoke to the sunlight streaming peacefully in through my window. I glanced at the clock and saw it was ten o'clock. Then I noticed something new: my new apartment now looked exactly like my room had in life.

I hopped from bed and pulled on my favourite worn jeans, a red Phoenix University t-shirt, and matching red Converses. I brushed my hair and let it fall around my face and shoulders, then went out to meet Esme or whomever I could find.

As I opened my apartment door, I bumped into someone's chest and fell backwards, but the stranger caught my wrist and waist before I could hit the floor. "Ah, I'm sorry!" I apologized. "Sorry for running into you…and making you catch me."

As yet, I still hadn't seen who it was that I was apologizing to and, as he stood me up, I blanched in surprise.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" I was standing and balanced now, my back close to the wall, but he was still holding my wrist and waist, gentle but firm.

"I came to bring you breakfast, sleepyhead." I looked at the floor and saw a large paper sack and cardboard drink tray with two coffees an orange juice and a cranberry juice.

"Oh. Thank you. Sorry again for bumping into you."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry for startling you." He was always very polite, I'd noticed, in the short time I'd known him.

"Um…you can let go of me now. I'm alright." I looked meaningfully at my wrist.

Then, suddenly, his face was inches from mine and his emerald eyes were intense. "And if I don't want to let go?"

My face turned bloodred and I stuttered some incomprehensible blab as he pulled his face slowly away, then removed his hands from me and picked up the breakfast.

"Shall we eat?" he asked, seeming to have forgotten totally what had just happened, and waved his hand toward my still-open door. I nodded and followed him in.

We sat at my kitchen table as he unpacked the breakfast. "I didn't know what you'd like, so I got several different things. There are various croissants and pastries and some cereal. I got coffee and orange juice, too."

"Wow, thank you." I put a croissant and pastry on my plate, filled a bowl with cereal and took a chug of the juice. Edward sipped his coffee and nibbled a croissant.

"Um…how did you know where I live?" I asked hesitantly after several moments.

"Oh, I live right next door, remember?" His tone was teasing. I looked down, blushing, and muttered:

"Right".

After another long moment, Edward spoke again. "You're…not still mad about last night, are you?"

"Last night?" Then I remembered: he'd made a joke about my clumsiness and I'd been "mad". "Oh, yeah. No, I'm not mad."

I heard him give a sigh of relief and I looking into his eyes curiously. "Were you really worried that I was mad at you?"

"Well…yes, actually." He stood up a little straighter and I swear his chest puffed out a bit.

Then I began to giggle. He raised an eyebrow, utterly confused, and I was able to get enough breath to speak. "Oh, Edward…I was just…playing…I was never….really mad…I'm s-sorry…!"

"You were…just playing?" I nodded as the words sunk in. My giggling ceased and I was suddenly afraid that he'd be angry about that tiny detail. "Oh thank god! I was worried I'd really offended you!"

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

Then the door opened to reveal a slightly flustered Esme. "Oh, Bella! Good, you're up. Come on, it's time for you to see your family one last time." She grabbed my wrist and towed me out the door, leaving Edward and my apartment in her wake.

**Sorry it took so long! We were on vacation and we had NO INTERNET! Goddamn Disney World! To think they would charge so much to plug in! Pfft! I mean, I know it's Disney and their prices are nuts, but still…!**

**Anyway, it's here now and I hope you enjoyed! I'll update as soon as I can!**

**-Forbala-**


	6. Visitation

**Hello, again! Wow…déjà vu. Did I say that last time? I think I did. Whatever.**

**Anyway, um…yeah, here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it. It's kinda like YuYu Hakusho, if you know that anime. If not, then you won't think I copied, which is good 'cause I didn't.**

**Enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER SIX: VISITATION

I followed Esme at a run to Hell's offices and the Visitation Building. We sped through paper work and whatnot and, soon enough, I was ready to go to the mortal world.

"Okay, have fun sweetie. Remember: you can talk to people in their dreams if you need, though I suggest not. No one can see or hear you, except people with extraordinary sixth senses, outside a dream. This is really just to say goodbye and, if necessary, straighten things out…like wills. Have fun!" She kissed me on the head after her speed-speech and shoved me through a door marked: _EARTH/ AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY._

There were swirls of black and white, then rainbow colours. Then I was floating above my Forks house, watching people crying and arranging things for my funeral and visitation. I felt so bad for doing this to them—they didn't deserve it—but what could I do now?

I went lower, so that I could better distinguish everything. All my friends were there: Mike, Jacob, Angela, Ben, Eric, Tyler, even Lauren and Jessica. Renée and Charlie were there, too, of cours, and lots of others. My whole graduating class was in attendance, and their parents. Everyone was black-clad and tearful, bearing food or flowers and condolences to my sobbing mother and gruff father.

Today was the visitation. I wondered, vaguely, how they had gotten this all ready in only two days.

I got closer, landing and walking around like a human, except that I was intangible. I navigated through my overcrowded house until I found my body, lying peacefully in a casket on the dining room table.

Wow. I looked like crap.

My skin was pale and cool to the touch. My hair was fixed and lying nicely on my shoulders, my face done up with light makeup. My dress was white and summery, with pale yellow and pink and blue flowers on it—something I never would have worn in life. My face was calm and peaceful and my hands were folded on my stomach. I looked nearly like an angel.

But my body was broken.

My face was smashed and bruised and you could see where I had been bleeding. I could see all of the places my bones had broken: ribs, arms, legs… neck. There were cuts from glass shards, big and small, and my limbs looked as though many of them had been dislocated when I hit the pavement. I wouldn't know—all I'd felt were stair edges digging into my body when I hit them and glass shattering around me, piercing my skin, seen the pavement coming closer, fear and adrenaline and knowledge of my ultimate demise overpowering me. Then I'd blacked out. It hadn't been that painful. All the while, I knew my death was near, and so I had gone numb.

And now I was dead.

I felt horrible for my parents and friends, having to see me broken and battered like that. I hated that they had to go through this hell—not the Hell where I was living now; this was the kind of hell priests spoke of, the kind I imagined was where murderers and child offenders resided.

I couldn't look anymore. I turned away and saw my best friend, Angela, and her fiancée, Ben, talking to my parents—well, my dad. Renée was sobbing too much to talk.

"Thanks so much for putting this together, Angela," Charlie said, his voice rough with unshed tears.

"Don't worry about it, Charlie," her soft, kind voice said. "I know what it's like, losing a family member, and I thought it'd be easier if you could just grieve while someone else does the work. I'm really going to miss her…."

I went to hug her, to reassure her that I was okay, but my arms slipped through and I felt even worse.

After about an hour, the memorial service started. Renée began, most of it indecipherable through the tears. Then Charlie, Angela, Jess, Mike…. I was glad to see that Mike was not resentful of all the times I'd turned him down for dates.

The service was over, now, and everyone was slowly making their way out and toward home. I went into my bedroom to look at my stuff, soon to be put in boxes, probably, and sealed away, so as not to be a constant reminder of my prescience, or lack thereof.

I heard Charlie putting Renée to bed, her tears still going strong after god knows how long. After a while, I went into Renée's room, ready to enter her dream.

As I entered her head (I have no idea how I did this, by the way), I saw that she was dreaming of me, of the last times we spent together. I shoved this dream out of the way and began to speak.

"Um…hi, Mom. How are you? Uh, stupid question. I'm really sorry for all this. I should've been more careful. But don't worry—the afterlife is great. I've made some friends, they're really great. And there's this guy…his name is Edward, he's amazing. He died in nineteen-eighteen. But, um…don't worry, okay? I'm doing really great, and I just want you to be happy. Well…goodbye."

I left her mind and moved on to Charlie, giving a similar speech (but leaving out the part about Edward).

After I spoke to my parents, I went back downstairs and was surprised by what I saw.

There stood Mike, grunting as he tried to lift my casket lid quietly. I went over to watch, curious and confused.

Mike finally got the lid off. He looked at my face, stroked my cheek, spoke. "I told you I'd have you, Bella. Too bad you're dead and missing it." Then he straddled my corpse in the casket and unzipped his pants.

Oh. My. God.

Mike was a necropheliac.

That _bastard_!

"Mike!!" I yelled, pissed beyond human possibility. "You freak! Get the hell away from my body! If I didn't want you in life, what makes you think I'd want your grubby fingers on my corpse, you sick bastard!" To my surprise, his head jerked in my direction, away from his exposed penis—if it was big enough to call that; jeez, I'd seen infants with bigger dicks than that!—and his eyes cast about the room for the source of the voice, terrified.

"Bella…? Is—Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me! Cover that midget thing of yours, dumbass!"

"She's not here," he muttered. "She's dead, she can't be here." He shook his head to clear his thoughts, muttering about "worried I'll get caught" and such. I sighed and rushed upstairs. I entered Charlie's dream and yelled for him to get downstairs. He got up and to the dining room just in time to catch Mike hiking up my skirt.

"Oh shit!" muttered that freaky corpse-raping bastard, zipping up his pants hurriedly and going for the door. Charlie tackled him and cuffed his wrists and called someone to take him in.

Charlie returned my body and casket to proper condition and went back to sleep (after quietly cussing Mike out and keeping Renée from killing him).

When Mike finally fell asleep in his prison keep, I entered his dream.

"Wow, Mike, can't take a hint, eh? No means no. Stay away from my body and my family or I'll kill you. Rot in Hell, bastard."

That made me feel a lot better, needless to say.

**xXx**

The next day was my funeral. All the same people were present, pretty much all of Forks. It was a really nice service.

And then I was cremated and put in two urns—one for each of my parents.

Then next night, I visited Angela and Jacob, repeating the speech from my parents.

And then I was ready to go back to Hell. There was nothing more I had to say.


	7. Lunch

**Ne, ne! I'm sorry I took so long! I hate writer's block, uwah! Anyway, here you go! More fluff, teehee! I like fluff XD Anyway, enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER SEVEN: LUNCH

I returned to the Hell offices and spoke to the secretary, who sent me to Esme.

"Ah, how was your trip, dear?" she asked, hugging me.

"…Strange. A guy from high school, who I turned down all the time, tried to rape my corpse. But I went into Charlie's dream and he got there just in time and Mike was arrested. Of course, I haunted his dreams that night, which was fun! Haha!"

"Well…er…I'm glad you had fun…and saved your body. Um…well, I'm still working, so I can't go out with you, but someone else it here." She winked with the last words and tilted her head toward the far door. I turned my head to look, and found what I hadn't known I'd been missing.

There stood Edward, green eyes boring into me, the soft hint of a smile on his lips. He pushed off from the doorframe he'd been leaning on and walked toward me, arms crossed loosely over his chest.

He reached me in a few seconds and laid a hand on my cheek. "Hello, Bella," he said softly.

"H-Hi…Edward."

"Are you ready for lunch?" I nodded absently, lost in his never-ending eyes. Had he gotten even more beautiful since I'd left?

Esme's voice broke my reverie. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder," she murmured with a sigh.

"What—?" I said, just as Edward chuckled.

"Come, let's get out of Esme's hair." Edward turned me toward the door and his hand hovered at my waist. It sent shivers up my spine and made my cheeks go red.

We arrived at a pizzeria and sat down. "What kind of pizza do you like?" he asked me, looking at the menu.

"Anything, really. Mushrooms are my favourite," I smirked, wanting to see his reaction to my stinky friend.

His eyebrows rose, almost imperceptibly, and he waved over a waiter.

Scratch that. Waitr_ess_.

The little girl came over and looked directly at Edward. She was thin and tan with bleach-blonde hair. Hot pants and a cutoff orange t-shirt for the restaurant were her uniform. She'd probably lived in California as a surfer chick when she was alive.

I hated her.

She was hitting on Edward like Stacey and Clinton throw away ugly clothes **[A/N: sorry, I'm watching "What Not To Wear". Please excuse my reference**.

"Yes, we'd like a medium mushroom, please, and two Cokes," he said quickly, merely glancing at the slut. Then he stared at me intently.

"Sure. Is there _any_thing else you need, sir?" Her high-pitched voice was silky and seductive, but Edward just waved her off and began talking to me again.

"How was your visit with your family?"

I heard the Cali girl huff and storm away. _Take that, OC bitch,_ I thought triumphantly.

"It was pretty nice, for the most part."

"The most part?"

"Well…a kid from high school is apparently a necropheliac. I turned him down one too many times, I guess."

"Necro…phelia?" Edward's face seemed to freeze at the word.

"Yeah, but Charlie got'im in time," I said, tryng to wave it off.

"He touched you? What was his name?"

"Um…Mike Newton, why?"

"In Forks, Washington, yes?"

"Yes, but Edward…you're not going to do something, are you?" I was worried about his carefully impassive expression and tone.

Then he laughed loudly. "No, Bella, don't be silly. Only the newly dead can go to the human world."

I sighed with relief—at least Mike, bastard that he was, wouldn't be committing suicide from fear.

Our pizza came a moment later, the Cali girl serving it. "What else can I get you, sir?" she said in that same slutty voice. I swear, I could strangle her right now.

"Thank you, but we're good here." Edward dismissed her shortly and served me a slice of mushroom-infested pizza. "Eat up, Bella."

"Happily," I smiled, sending a quick death-glare to the Cali waitress. She stuck her tongue out at me and sauntered off.

"What kind of pizza do you usually eat?"

"Anything," he smirked. "If it's food, I eat it."

"Sounds good," I giggled. We ate in comfortable silence for a while. Then:

"Wanna go to the amusement park, Bella?"

"Hn? Sure." I shoved one more bite of pizza in my mouth, one last sip of Coke, and stood up. Edward held out his arm to me. I looked at it as though it were an alien, then turned my eyes to his, one eyebrow raised.

"You're supposed to link arms with me, Bella, dear," he explained, as though to a child.

"You are so old fashioned," I mumbled as I obeyed him, a blush on my cheeks.

He led me, grinning, to the fairgrounds. And so began our afternoon.


	8. The Fair

**OMG, I'm sorry for the previous chapter eight! I accidentally uploaded the chapter of a different story! Hahaha! Here's the real Chapter 8!**

**I feel like crap, lately. I hate to complain, I'm sorry. And I don't understand why I am forced to take piano lessons when I have **_**zero**_** talent. I really suck. But, no, I have to keep taking them, and I've been taken out of voice lessons because my dad doesn't want me to do what **_**I **_**want; I have to do what **_**he**_** wants. **_**My**_** happiness is irrelevant! Obviously, I have to be his legacy! I'm a girl, for god's sake! I don't carry a legacy! That's my little brother's hell to go through!**

**Ahem…sorry. I had a moment. But I'm okay now. Please forgive the outburst.**

**A quote that a dear reviewer, SisterGrimm2, told me: "The primary difference between Heaven and Hell is the company you keep there." Thanks, SisterGrimm2!**

**Here's the next chapter! It's a long one (for me)! Enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE FAIR

"Wanna go to the amusement park, Bella?"

"Hn? Sure." I shoved one more bite of pizza in my mouth, one last sip of Coke, and stood up. Edward held out his arm to me. I looked at it as though it were an alien, then turned my eyes to his, one eyebrow raised.

"You're supposed to link arms with me, Bella, dear," he explained, as though to a child.

"You are so old fashioned," I mumbled as I obeyed him, a blush on my cheeks.

He led me, grinning, to the fairgrounds. And so began our afternoon.

"What would you like to ride?"

"Hmm…the teacups!" I said, spotting said ride. He began walking toward them, but I got stuck in the crowd.

"Edward!" I called. "Hey, I can't get through! Excuse me—sorry. Edward! Ed—ah!" For Edward had just reached me and hefted me easily onto his shoulder.

"Silly girl, can't even get through a crowd," he chided.

"Hey, put me down! You don't have to carry me! Put me down, Edward! You stupid ghost, let me down!" I was hitting his back and yelling, but it was all fruitless—he simply ignored me.

Then, suddenly, I was being held cradle-style against Edward's chest. "Will you please stop hitting me?" he asked, his eyes blazing as he looked down at me.

My breath caught and my witty response was forgotten as he dazzled me. I nodded absently, forgetting everything but those eyes, those deep green eyes….

"Hey, you two, get on the ride or leave," came the annoyed voice of the ride operator.

Edward carried me through the gate and set me gently down on a teacup beside himself. "I could have walked, you know," I pouted.

"I know," he said, humouring me. I stuck my tongue out at him, crossed my arms and waited for the ride to start.

"Are you very angry with me?" he asked a moment later, peeking up at me from beneath his lashes, having weaseled his way into my sight.

I glared at him for a moment, but it was pointless—he was too adorable. "No," I sighed. He smiled and put his arm around my back, hugging me to his warm, perfect chest. I breathed in his scent, getting high off it.

He released me all too soon and the ride began.

Edward and I gripped the twisty-thing in the center and spun our teacup, faster and faster, until the scenery was all a blur. We were giggling loudly, purely, and our hair was whipping around our faces.

The rest of the day went in a similar fashion: we got junk food, played in the arcade (I kicked his butt at Guitar Hero, he kicked mine at DDR), went on rides, played carnie games—he even got me on a roller coaster.

"Come on, Bella, it'll be fun! Just one roller coaster, please." Damn him and his dazzling! He looked and sounded so cute when he begged me, how could I resist?

So we got in line for Hell's very own The Beast **[A/N: I live pretty close to King's Island—we go there on school trips sometimes—so this is what I'm familiar with. It **_**rocks**_**! Go to King's Island if you haven't already! And ride Dropzone, too, and the pendulum!**. I waited nervously beside Edward as the line progressed.

As we walked up to the gates, I saw the track. "It's a _wooden _roller coaster?" I gasped, eyes wide.

"Two things, Bella. One, wooden roller coasters are very safe, just as much so as metal ones. And two, you can't die. You're already dead. So there's no reason to hold back." He smiled warmly, reassuringly, at me as we prepared to board.

"Still…" I grumbled.

And then the gates opened for us so we could board the ride. Edward had insisted that we get front row seats, because those were apparently the best.

And so we sat down, and Edward put the restraint on me and grasped my hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it gently. The operator's voice came over the speaker, instructing us to put on our restraints, keep our limbs inside, yada yada yada.

And then the car took off.

It was so fast! I was terrified! My breath hitched and I squeezed Edward's hand, my hair whipping violently. I heard Edward laughing beside me. I turned my head to glare at him.

"I hate you!"

"Scream, Bella! It makes it more fun!" he encouraged. I obeyed—and he was right; it did relieve the fear.

The car careened over the wooden tracks and through dark tunnels—and, to my surprise, it was fun.

We stepped off, laughing and wavering, Edward supporting most of my weight. "Did you like it?" he asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Actually, yes."

It was growing dark outside. "One last ride before we leave?" I nodded and he pulled me along to the gentler section of the park. I saw a huge Ferris wheel rising into the darkening sky. We stood in the short line, hand in hand, watching the stars peek out.

"Hell is a strange place," I said softly.

"How so?"

"It's exactly like Earth. Day, night, hunger, fun…it's not even like being dead. It's just like being alive."

"That's true. It's interesting, being here. Do you like it?"

I looked up at him, into his gorgeous eyes. "I do."

Then I shuddered with chill. I hadn't realized I could get cold in Hell, but I was shivering in the post-sun chill and slight wind.

"Here," Edward said, shrugging out of his beige leather jacket and slipping it up on my shoulders.

"Ah—thank you." The jacket smelled wonderful, just like him. I pulled it closer to absorb more of the scent.

We then boarded the Ferris wheel. It made me nervous and my face blushed—Ferris wheels were for lovers, it was a romantic ride.

And that fact made me happy. I liked the idea of Edward taking me on a romance ride.

We sat silent in the enclosed swinging car, side by side, Edward's arm resting around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder and stared up at the twinkling stars.

We approached the highest point of the titanic wheel.

And we stopped. I heard a commotion from below and realized the wheel had broken. We were trapped up here. Alone. In this car. In the dark. Unreachable.

This could not be good.

"It seems we're stranded," Edward noted casually. I looked to his face and saw that he was smirking.

Had he planned this? That little weasel! That romantic, perfect, gorgeous, chick-flick-esque weasel.

"Mm, so it does. I wonder what happened?" I looked at him pointedly, seeing if he would confess.

"I sure hope no one paid off the operator to stop the wheel when a certain car was at the top so that its occupants would be all alone in a romantic setting for twenty or thirty minutes." His wry smile was too beautiful to let me be angry. But I was embarrassed.

"You paid him off?" I asked, incredulous.

"Who said _I_ paid him off?" he asked innocently. "I simply said I hoped no one had."

"You're in big trouble, mister," I threatened, pointing a finger at him. He surprised me by grabbing it and rubbing my hand before he kissed each of my fingertips, then my palm.

"You're beautiful when you're angry," he whispered. A shiver raced up my spine, and I shuddered.

"Are you still cold?" But, before I could answer, I was sitting in his lap, his arms forming warm restraints about my waist. "You're lips look blue. Shall I warm them?"

I could not speak, could not move. I was entranced by his eyes, burning with love and desire. His strong hands, on my hips. His breath, in my face. His mouth, centimeters from mine.

I felt my head bow down and lift up in a movement that I would have thought imperceptible. But he saw it.

He leaned closer, his lips brushing mine. I pressed myself up against him and crushed our lips together. My hands knotted in his hair. His lips parted mine. I felt his tongue trace my lower lip and my mouth opened wider. He noticed this, for his wet tongue invaded my mouth, exploring and gaining easy dominance. My tongue weaved around his and slipped into his mouth, exploring, then returned to dance with his.

I heard fireworks behind us, but paid them no mind, figuring Edward had arranged for that, too.

I felt my legs move, one on either side of his hips, knees resting on the plastic bench. My heart was racing, my breathing quick and uneven, my skin hot. Edward was in much the same condition, I noted with surprise.

I felt his hands move up my back, arms, around to the front of my shoulders. My breath caught in anticipation.

But he pushed me back, just a few inches, but too much for my liking. "What—?"

"You are the most amazing person I've ever met," his voice whispered, ragged and lacking oxygen.

I didn't answer, just rested my head on his muscled shoulder.

This was the best night I'd ever had.


	9. Rent

**Holy cheese on rye! I'm so sorry for not updating! I had writer's block, and then I wrote like 5 chapters of my Disney story! Uwah, please forgive me!!!**

**I love you.**

**Jeez, I'm hyper.**

**Enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER NINE: RENT

Edward walked me back to my apartment. I didn't want him to leave, and so I stalled.

"You wanna eat dinner or watch a movie?"

He looked a little taken aback, but agreed with a smile.

We went inside and he sat at the table while I got some lasagna and milk ready for us. I sat right beside him and we ate in relative silence. After I'd washed the dishes, I said:

"So, what do you want to watch?"

He sifted through my movies and, when he stopped, he smirked. "How about this?"

I took the DVD and blushed: it was Rent, a movie about music, life, AIDS, death, love, and sex.

I slid it in the DVD player and sat on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a Coke in the other.

It came on with the famous scene of the cast in singular spotlight, singing "Seasons of Love".

We settled in and watched contentedly through "Rent", "You'll See", and "Light My Candle". We laughed at Angel during "Today 4 U" (s/he's just so cute!). I was on the verge of tears during "Life Support" and "Will I?". "I'll Cover You"—being one of my favourite songs—made me "awwww" and Edward look at me with strange, smoldering eyes.

And then came "La Vie Boheme". Oi.

I began to wiggle, resisting the urge to jump up and dance all-out, for the greater part of the song (namely, the not perverted part). But, during those lecherous images and lines, my face flashed red.

"You're so funny when you're embarrassed," Edward teased, referring to my recurring blush. I stuck my tongue out at him and faced forward again as the song ended.

When we got to Angel's death scene, I cried. And cried harder. And harder. Angel was, without a doubt, my favourite character, and I still couldn't quite accept his death. During "Goodbye Love", I continued to cry, and I nodded when Mimi and Joanne sang:

_I'd be happy to die for a taste_

_Of what Angel had_

_Someone to live for—unafraid_

_To say, "I love you"._

After that, my eyes got heavy and all I remember was Edward's chest against my cheek. Though I swore I heard Edward mumble:

"You _have_ died. And I swear I'll give you all Angel had and more." But I know I must have been dreaming.

**xXx**

Next morning, I awoke in my bed. I blinked a few times before I remembered last night. I guess the tears and the day had tired me out.

I noticed I was still in my jeans, so I jumped up and took a shower, changing into fresh clothes.

I couldn't believe how _good_ yesterday was. The fair, the Ferris wheel, Rent…that kiss. Oh! that kiss. It was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced.

As I pulled on my jeans, a knock came at the bedroom door. I pulled it open warily and was surprised by what I saw.

"Good morning, beautiful," Edward's silky voice greeted me. I noticed he was holding a breakfast tray full of food. "Did you sleep well?"

"Ah—Edward—yes, I did. And you?"

"I'd have slept better if we were together." This made me blush furiously.

"Would you like breakfast?" he asked, ignoring my embarrassed silence and indicating the tray.

"Oh—yes. That'd be great!"

"Go get in bed."

Once I was arranged in the covers, he set the tray over my legs and indicated that I should eat.

I ate a little before speaking. "Um…what are you doing here?"

"I came to make you breakfast, of course."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to do something nice. You still do that on Earth, right?"

"Not so often anymore," I mumbled, shoving more egg into my mouth.

"Did you have fun yesterday?" he asked me several moments later.

"Nn? Oh, yes, lots. It was great."

"I enjoyed it too." His voice was low and close to my face, and so very intense. It reminded me of the kiss again, and the words I'd dreamt about on the couch during Rent.

I had trouble swallowing for a moment, the food on its way to descend my throat, making it harder to breathe. When I was able to think again, I gulped it all down, nearly choking, and nodded.

Then my cell phone rang (since when do I have a cell phone?). It flashed Alice's name and sang the Barenaked Ladies' "Shopping". I flipped it open, annoyed, and blanched in fear at Alice's words.

**What did Alice say??? As if you can't guess. Re-read her ringtone, people. The Barenaked Ladies rock! Keep reading! And REVIEW!! I will update faster!**


	10. Shopping

**Hello, darlings! So guess what? I was shooting archery today and I decided I was finished, but my dad wanted to try his hand at a round. He's never shot archery more than two or three times in his embarrassingly long life, since he was a kid. But can you imagine what happens? As fate would have it, he outshined me. Me, the one who shoots archery. He, the one who does not. Admittedly, I'm not very good, but seriously! Now I never want to shoot again. I must have no talents. At all. Except fiction writing, my one escape. Thank you all for reading and reviewing, to those who do! I love youuuuuuuu!**

**Here's the next chappie! Did any of you guess what Alice said?**

**Enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER TEN: SHOPPING

Alice barged in a few minutes later, after Edward had washed the dishes and I'd gotten dressed.

"Bella," she said, "if you're going to be dating Edward, you need to look the part. I can't let my brother kiss a girl with no fashion."

"Edward's your brother?" I asked, incredulous, ignoring the remark to my clothing style.

"Well…not technically. But we were born the same year and we're really close friends. Anyway, that's not the point."

At that moment, we entered the store Alice had been searching for and I gasped, frozen in my tracks.

"What the hell are we doing in Victoria's Secret! What makes you think I'll need hot underwear!"

"Bella. Be serious. We're all adults here. No STDs or pregnancies possible, either. Totally safe. Plus, you should see the way you two look at each other. You're soul mates."

"H-How can you possibly know such a thing?"

"Jasper is my soul mate, Emmett is Rosalie's, Carlisle is Esme's. I've seen a lot of soul-mate couples, and the looks they give each other. It's obvious. You and Edward are meant to be."

I knew she was wrong—she had to be—but it made my heart flutter all the same. 

"Here, go try these on," Alice ordered, shoving to me a pile of lingerie as big as she was. We were locked into a dressing room and I was stripped naked.

I was afraid, terrified, that Alice was making me try on—likely, _buy_—these scandalous clothpieces.

Alice turned me around to face her when she had me dressed in a black lace panty set—a super-thong and push-up bra.

"Blech, next," she muttered to herself, switching it for a red outfit. This one had hose-holder-uppers attached to the panties, which were boy-cut, and a dress-push-up-bra with elbow-gloves that were missing the parts that went over the fingers.

"Too seductive."

A pink set was next—thong panties and a push-up bra with an attached choker necklace.

This was ripped off nearly as soon as it was put on. The next was blue, a pale sky—almost powdery—blue. It was a gentle thong with a slight push-up bra that had a flowing dress attached, falling to just below my crotch. With it was a tiny robe of the same colour and material.

"Oh. My. _God!_ Bella, you look amazing! We're so buying this!"

"Eh? What?"

"You look just sexy enough to make Edward crazy, but not so much so that he'd think you're a 'companion'!"

"What! Did the other outfits make me look that way!"

"Well…kind of, yeah. Come on, get dressed and we'll buy this. I'll go pick you out some everyday bras!"

I was left alone. _I wonder if I look any good…?_ I turned around and blanched. Alice was right: I looked amazing. My B-cup breasts were accentuated and made fuller looking and softer. The thong was framed my crotch and disappeared into my butt crack.

I had to admit: I looked hot.

I wondered if Edward would agree.

"Bella, get your tiny ass out here!" Alice called, breaking my reverie.

"Coming!" I pulled my jeans back on and joined Alice at the checkout, where a suspiciously large pile of underwear was sitting. "This isn't all for me, is it?"

"No, I got myself some stuff, too. Besides, it's not for you, it's for Edward."

"Would you stop insinuating that stuff!" I whispered, my face turning red.

"Oh please, you can't tell me you didn't love that kiss he gave you, and waking up with him there in your apartment."

"How did you know about that!" Now my face was redder than a pickled beet.

"Well, how could you look so happy and _not_ have kissed him? And I did walk in while he was still there."

"You spied on us, didn't you?"

"Yup!"

After two more hours of rigorous shopping, Alice finally let me stop and eat. I collapsed into a chair with my Sonic Burger and decided to take a nap.

"Hey, guys!" Alice called moments later. I decided to ignore whomever was there and continue sleeping on my food tray.

"She asleep?" Emmett's voice asked, in what he_ thought_ was a whisper.

"No, she's just being dramatic about the shopping overhaul I dragged her through," Alice answered.

An arm draped about my shoulders and I felt hot breath in my ear. "Won't you say 'hi' to me?"

I shot up to a sitting position, shocked that Edward was here, and at the seductive way he had breathed his words on the shell of my ear. "Edward!"

"Hello, Bella, I'm glad you deign to greet me." The boys sat down next to their girls, filling the small table up completely, increasing the noise decibel close to the breaking point of the sound barrier.


	11. A Date

I apologize profusely for the hugely long wait

**I apologize profusely for the hugely long wait! I'm so sorry! Writer's block is a bitch. And I'm sorry to TwIlIght-ObSeTiOn especially! Please don't hurt me, dear readers!**

**I'm gonna end this pretty soon, because I'm ADD and bored of it. I'm sorry, but expect very few chapters left.**

**Enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER ELEVEN: A DATE

While we walked through the mall, Edward turned to me and said, "What would you say if I felt compelled to invite you to dinner tonight?"

"I might be compelled to oblige."

"I'll pick you up at six thirty; semi-formal." He kissed my forehead. "I'm excited."

My face turned pink and I agreed.

"Ooooooh!" cheered the others (save Jasper), teasing us, having overheard. "Bella's got a da-ate, Bella's got a da-ate!"

"H-Hey! Shut up!" I stuttered. Edward pulled me close to protect me from their cruel teasing, but it only caused more, including the famous:

"Edward and Bella, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love—!"

At this point, Edward scooped me up and jogged away, surprisingly fast for someone with a hundred-pound load.

We ended up in a park. "Shall we go for a walk?" he asked. I nodded and we sauntered slowly around and throughout the park, watching the kids running and the old folks feeding birds and other couples out and about.

"This is really nice." The sun was shining and it was the perfect temperature—and Edward's strong arm was around my waist, his strong hand holding my opposite one. That was the best part.

"Yes…it is." I looked up at him to say something, but it left me when I saw that smoldering gaze of his, right on me. Why…why was he staring? So intense. It made me freeze in thought and wonder and even a little fear, fear at such a total devotion being aimed towards me.

I don't know how long we stood there, looking at each other, but it felt like hours, days, and yet not long enough, before a misguided child bumped my leg, shoving me into Edward.

"So…Sorry!"

"Don't worry about it, love. It's time you should be getting back anyway to get ready for dinner." He smirked triumphantly and took me home, where I found Alice waiting in the bedroom.

"Alice? What are you doing here?"

"Helping you get ready, _duh_!"

Rosalie came from the bathroom. "You have no sense of style, do you? You're so lucky you have us."

"You're here, too?" I moaned, flopping on the bed.

"Enough of that," snapped Rose. "Hurry and take a shower, then we'll pretty you up."

I obeyed, and when I came out, the two were rummaging through my closet. They had out several outfits, all skirts or dresses. One was a simple black dress, knee-length with spaghetti straps, my only formal outfit. Another was a khaki skirt with a blue button-up three-quarter-sleeve blouse. The third was a pair of Capri jeans and a long red spaghetti strap shirt that fell below my butt and had lace across the top. And those were all the girly outfits I owned.

"How the hell are we supposed to work with this!" Rosalie exclaimed, still unaware of my prescience.

"I don't know. But we'll have to make it work; none of our clothes will fit her!"

"Didn't you buy her anything useful when you took her shopping?"

"Nothing appropriate for a first date, no!"

"Ahem. Um, hi." They twirled around to face me, appraised me, then swiveled back to the bed where my clothes were.

"He said semi-formal, so the jeans are out. It's between the skirt and the dress," Alice continued.

"I think the dress is _too_ formal."

"Where are those thongs I bought?"

"_Thongs_?" I squeaked. I couldn't…no way!

"Black or white?"

"Tough…. White, in case the skirt is really thin."

"Pushup or lace?"

"Isn't there one that's both?"

"Oh! Found it!"

Next I knew, my clothes and much lace were in my face and I was being commanded to don the items.

I stripped in the bathroom and stared, horrified, at the undergarments. The bra was white and matched perfectly with the panties. Wow.

"Hey, do I have to wear all this…lacey crap?"

"YES!"

I cringed at the sheer volume of the answer and submissively dressed. I opened the door reluctantly, where I was appraised by the girls.

After several _looong_ moments, they cheered and hugged me.

"Hair and make-up time," demanded Rose, and I was hauled away to the bathroom. Towels were placed around my shoulders to keep my shirt clean while Alice applied make-up and Rose wrestled with my hair.

When I was done, I had to agree I looked really good. My hair was gently curled and the blue eye shadow made my eyes sparkle.

"One thing…" Rose mumbled, coming forward. She unbuttoned my shirt so it barely held my boobs in. I buttoned it back up to my collarbone. We fought for a minute until Alice shoved her way in and unbuttoned it just enough for cleavage but not enough for sluttiness.

_Ding-dong._

Edward was here. Oh god.


	12. Dinner and a Show

It'll probably be another month until I update because I'm going to camp soon, so…I'm really sorry

**Here's the last chapter! It's been fun!!**

**Warning: implied sex because I don't feel like writing a full-on lemon just now.**

**Enjoy!**

**-Forbala-**

CHAPTER TWELVE: DINNER AND A SHOW

Edward was here. Oh my god. Did I look okay? Was my hair a sty? Why was I freaking out so much??

Rose sauntered over to the door and flung it open, yanking the Adonis with the bronze hair inside while Alice introduced me with a flourish.

I blushed and cast my eyes downward at the sight of my date—he was clad in a crisp white shirt, black slacks, shiny black dress shoes, and a silk tie decorated with little ferocious cougars—how cute!

"Um…good evening, Bella. You look lovely." His voice was a little unsure, I noticed, surprised, and I saw a little pink hiding behind his cheeks.

"Th-Thank you. You look great."

"Shall we?" He held out his arm to me and I took it, having myself escorted to the threshold.

As he pulled the door to, he grinned at the girls in my apartment and said, "Thanks for helping my adorable date," and clicked the door shut.

"For the lady," he smiled, handing me a shiny black comb that looked like it popped out of _Mulan_, on which was a single pink rose, the shade of which matched my cheeks.

"Oh, Edward. It's beautiful. Thank you," I whispered as he put it in my hair above my ear.

"You're welcome. And now for the copestone." **(A/N: a copestone is a sort of finishing touch)**

Edward escorted me to a small black limo. I gasped, shocked, and swirled my face to look up at his. He was looking at me nervously, as though eagerly awaiting my opinion.

"Edward, you really shouldn't spend so much money on me," I insisted.

"You seem to forget there's no currency exchange in Hell, something that makes life here much easier."

"Oh yeah…."

We slid in the limo, Edward pulling me close to his side and nuzzling his head in my hair. I rested my head on his shoulder, both embarrassed and completely content. It seemed that all was perfect in that moment and I never wanted it to end.

But, as all things do, it did as we pulled up to the restaurant.

"Wolfgang Puck's?" I screeched. "But…but that's…."

"No money, remember? And what do people do after they die, if not continue with their life as a chef, for example?"

"Yeah…I guess so."

We ate a dinner filled with talking and laughter and didn't go home until very late—we'd spent nearly three hours at that restaurant!

As we got back to my apartment and the limo sped away for the last time, Edward was holding my hand with one of his and the other was wrapped around my waist. We arrived at my threshold and I didn't want to leave him by going inside. I curled up close to him and muttered to myself, "Why can't it always be like this?" But, alas, he heard me and pulled my chin up, smiling softly.

"It can, silly girl." He kissed me chastely on the lips. His mouth was so soft and gentle, but my instincts got the better of me and the kiss was soon very heated.

I felt my hand groping for and twisting the doorknob and our bodies falling through, barely keeping upright.

"Edward," I gasped. I remembered, suddenly, that Alice and Rose had insisted I wear some really sexy underwear, "just in case". I guess I would have to thank them later.

"Edward, I'm not sure if I'm…."

"Only if you're ready," he breathed in my ear. The softness and genuine tone in which he spoke with convinced me.

"I am," I said firmly, more stably than I though possible.

**xXx**

The next morning, I awoke to the sun streaming in the window through cracks in the shades. I blinked, confused, and found that I was stark naked and the sheets of my bed were sorely tangled.

I was hugely confused and embarrassed, for some reason, until I remembered.

_Oh! Oh yeah…. __Wow_.

"You awake, love?" Edward's voice called from the kitchen. Now I focused, I could smell some sort of delicious breakfast medley.

"Yeah…what're y'makin'?" My voice was still thick from the depth of my sleep and, as I stood, I noticed I was sore pretty much all over, even in places I didn't know you cold be sore _in_.

I pulled on some sweats and a t-shirt and joined my…lover…in the kitchen.

"Good morning, love," he greeted.

"I love you," I whispered.

"And I, you." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my hairline gingerly.


End file.
